The Sports Pile: Wish summer would hang around longer? Not so fast my friend - Sports
(Ed. Note: If you're one of the, uh, "many" people who check this blog, thanks. I'm going to attempt to contribute to it some more, since its been about three months since I last actually did anything on it. What will probably end up happening, and what happened here, is me lazily reprinting my school newspaper columns on here. But at least they'll be weekly!
Sweet Jeebus. Football is almost here, folks, and frankly, it's about damn time. With the exciting beginning of a new semester-funny-we also get to usher in the season of tailgates, Saturday/Sunday pile-fests, and all the pleasantly vice-filled amenities that come with fall. And if you've been tuned into the sports world at all throughout these hot several months, you've probably been privy to some pretty insufferably indestructible plot lines. Why? Because aside from America's pastime, we don't have a whole helluva lot going on from May until August. Don't get me wrong-I love baseball. I get the season pass every summer and spend most weeknights horizontally splayed on my couch taking mini-naps the whole time. But baseball lacks the same panache that a slew of Sunday skin, pig style, provides to us athletic mainliners; it's the slow and steady corrosiveness of alcoholism juxtaposed against the jacked up 12-hour rush of football's intravenous nature in this poorly planned analogy. It's also increasingly more difficult to have it jazzed up by ill-advised gambling, and you'll also notice that most sports channels, and often regular news channels, will "focus" (read: obsess incessantly over) on a few key stories to the point, usually by August, that we as a collective sports watching nation would rather be pumping a 12 gauge with our big toe than be forced into watching another LIVE LOOK IN!! of someone chasing a tainted record.
But, wouldn't I be totally remiss and completely wasting a freebie here if I didn't at least take some time and catch you up on the summer happenings? You know, just in case something-something about a rock, or perhaps you spent the whole time on a NOLS trip trying to make up for that "finding yourself" class-lacking semester last spring. What? It happens. And of course, if I didn't go ahead and tap the vein with some pre-season odds, well, I just think I'd be shorting myself. Or at least not having nearly as much fun. So, without further ado, the five best fake matchups of the summer (with accompanying money line!):
Barry Bonds v. Hank Aaron and the Asterisk (-400)
Sure, it's okay to ask how Hammerin' Hank is supposed to be favored, seeing as how Barroid already set a new record*. Well, without flat out practicing libel, I'm not entirely convinced that Bonds really deserves to be the home run king*. I do find it interesting though, that Barry seems to have rubbed a magic lamp, except it's one of those where the genie gives you your wish but secretly screws you over at the same time-yes, he became the all time home run leader*, but he'll never win a World Series (the Giants are horrible and no other team in baseball will sign him for the last year or two of his career) and he's one of the most hated and polarizing figures in the history of sports. Not to mention that while there's only one guy who can really challenge his record* anytime soon, it would appear that Alex Rodriguez has a very legitimate shot at topping 777* (or whatever the final record* ends up being). So, to recap, Bonds sold his soul and his legacy for a seven year period where he owns* a prolific record*.
The Family Beckham (-150) v. American Culture
This might somehow be the most underreported story of the summer, in the sports world at least. No one cares about American soccer anymore. Yes, the World Cup is great, but it's every four years. And let's get serious-Beckham isn't even a top five player in the world either. Nor is his wife relevant, unless you count the reality TV show where she ends up trying to cheat on a driving test at the California DMV. Now, I would have signed the contract too, and probably kept my mouth shut as well when people started talking about me "saving American soccer," if only because I wouldn't want to tell them the sad truth. Er, truths. The second one of course being that Beckham is going to be old, injured and overpaid for most of the time that America pretends that the MLS matters.
Michael Vick v. U.S. Government and Fido (-2200)
I read somewhere, or maybe heard somewhere, that the federal government has a 98% conviction rate. That's somehow even higher than the Sex Panther conversion rate and if true, it means Vick is what we like to call donecakes. Look, there's little to no chance he plays this year, and there's also little to no chance I try and force a joke here, since torturing dogs is easily one of the worst things I've ever heard of. It's one thing to be running an interstate underground dog fighting ring while moonlighting as an NFL quarterback (seriously, re-read that) but do you really have to electrocute, strangle and drown the dogs when they lose? 'Cause that's pretty f'ing sadistic, man.
Pacman Jones (-1200) v. Sanity
This guy has made my freaking year. Is it tragic that we're constantly forced to watch professional athletes waste their God-given talent through just outright irreverent behavior? Absolutely. But do I desperately wish that it would be socially acceptable for me to walk into the local convenience store, ask for a pack of Marlboro Lights and 20 on pump number five and then shower the cashier with 25 one dollar bills? You're damn right-making it rain always makes it more fun, whatever it is we're talking about. Although regardless of how chauvinistic and immorally enjoyable a stance I want to take towards Pac, what he's done over the past few months has been absolutely insane. First, there was Vegas and the strip club incident. Then he went to New York to meet with Commissioner Roger Goodell … and just absolutely could not-not go to a strip club the night before. I mean, really, Pac. You're there for 48 freaking hours. Just order a crappy movie at your hotel and don't go out. Surely you have more self-control than that. Of course, he proved me wrong on that count when he signed up to join TNA wrestling last week, only to have his performance on a pay-per-view event stopped just short by a Tennessee Titans restraining order. He's one failed plutonium smuggling away from making Maurice Clarett look like Mother Teresa at this point.
Boston Big Three v. Tim Donaghy (Even)
A very tough choice to make here as the NBA seemingly spent all summer fighting within itself for how to spin the attention The Association was inevitably going to take. There's the bad-Donaghy getting busted fixing games as an NBA ref, and the good-Danny Ainge backdoors his way into somehow doing a good job by landing Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen to go with Paul Pierce, not to mention the possibility of Reggie Miller returning for a title run. Donaghy's scandal is David Stern and the NBA's worst possible nightmare, especially when the guy was involved in playoff officiating. Such a horrid nightmare in fact, that even the Durant-Oden welcome wagon and the Boston Celtics' waltz to the NBA Finals this year probably won't be enough to overcome-although none of this will really even matter when Stern somehow (hopefully!) brainwashes us all into forgetting this entire summer ever happened.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Wish summer would hang around longer? Not so fast my friend - Sports
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Random Thursday Thoughts / NL Cy Young
Watching the Phillies-Brewers game last night while semi-boycotting the NBA playoffs; Cole Hamels was absolutely dealing. I stand by my prediction that he ends up winning the Cy Young, but Jake Peavy is going to need to actually lose some games for that to happen--or stop K'ing 10 a game. He's been looking dominant as well. Hamels was perfect through six, but walked Rickie Weeks to lead off the seventh and then lobbed a grapefruit for J.J. Hardy who sent his TWELFTH home run--this one a scorching line drive to left field--of the season out to break up the no-no. Weeks had obviously ruined the perfect game. By the way, twelfth is one of those words that if you stare at it for long enough, it just becomes weird. **And even more awkward than that last sentence, it turns out it was Hardy's 13th homer. Couple of quick (maybe) thoughts (after the jump) before I run down the 1/3 season Cy Young contenders (NL today, AL later)...
1. LeBron James should have been the MVP. Think about where the Cavs would be without him. They scored six points against the Nets in the fourth quarter last night. SIX! I bet I could score six points against Jason Kidd in 12 minutes of gametime, just by lobbing up crazy threes and getting lucky on two. He and Big Z were the only two to score more than 10 points on the game, and the formerly resurgent Larry Hughes shot a disgustingly abysmal three of 17. I still don't think the Nets take this series to seven, but it will be interesting to see how LeBron responds (and more importantly, how he gets his teammates to respond) with a little more pressure on them. It was just assumed they'd win in Cleveland and one more win for the Nets makes it awkward.
2. Unbelievable game that I pretended not to watch last night between the Spurs and the Suns. Although I really wish we could do something about these damn things starting at 9pm. Sucks to be EST, I guess. Anyway, Nash and company gave it their all but as Manu said to Sager after the game, it was like the reverse of Game 4, where the Spurs won the first 42 minutes and somehow still lost the game--same thing happened to a technically overmatched Suns team last night, which is a shame. I swing both ways on the Amare and Diaw suspensions--yes they had to be suspended; that's what the rule says. But it sucks that the rule is there and that in a game of this magnitude...well, you've heard plenty of opinions on this. Like Barkley said last night too, be interested to see how Nash and Marion look in Game 6 (tomorrow night) after getting 45+ minutes each last night.
3. Is it just me or are there an obscene number of near no-hitters that have happened thus far in the MLB season? (I would say six plus innings counts as a near no-hitter right?) Bergmann for the Nats against the Braves three nights ago, Huddy at the Nats the next night, Hamels last night, Buehrle already threw one, Maddux had one going til I f'd it up with this post, King Felix did seven innings at Boston, Chuck James went six no hit innings against the Pirates last Saturday, and I'm sure there are more that I'm missing.
4. Do you think that Dr. Feelgood and Mr. Brownstone are friends? Assuming they even know each other? Did they compete for clients? Or just hang out and do H together?
Cy Young Contenders
NL
Jake Peavy - Leading MLB strikeouts with 71, tied for second in MLB ERA with 1.64, tied for third in NL with 5 wins (12 way tie, 2 others have 6 wins). Peavy has tied his own Padres record for strikeouts in a game with 16 at Arizona on April 25...Last night he actually lost a little ground to Hamels as he broke his streak of four straight games with 10 K's or more...Downside? His pitch counts have been pretty high, although I think with Greg Maddux and Bud Black around he should be fine.
Cole Hamels - Second in MLB/First in NL in victories with 6, second in MLB in K's with 70, 26th in ERA at 3.30. Hamels has looked absolutely electric lately, taking a perfect game into the seventh last night against the red hot Brewers, striking out 15 in a complete game win at Cincinnati on April 21st...Downside? Problems with the gopher ball (which leads to his ERA remaining high--rarely gives up no runs) and certainly injury prone, with a degenerative disk in his back.
Tim Hudson - 4th in MLB in ERA at 1.77, tied for 11th in the NL with K's with 43, tied with Peavy at third in wins with 5. Huddy has been completely resurgent this year, having gone less than seven innings only once this year, and having every single one of his starts be of the quality variety...He struck out 12 at Florida on April 25th, a season high...Sporting a very nice 2:1 GB/FB ratio on the season, he's had his splitter looking absolutely filthy to this point. Downside? We remember 2006, but other than that, not much. Hudson's a gamer, and while he's a good number of years removed from winning 20 games (7), he went sub-2 ERA in 2003.
It's a pretty tough call at this point; if the season ended today, Peavy has to get it (and just throw Hudson the COY bone), but I'm going to stick by my preseason prediction that Hamels would win the NL award. Peavy has the track record--won the ERA and K legs of the Triple Crown before--but Hamels was insane in the second half last year, and if he can come close to reproducing that after his big first half, then I think he takes it. Both Peavy and Hamels stink of injury risk with the number of pitches their tossing, and their semi-dependence on the K (Peavy moreso than Hamels), so Huddy could easily "backdoor" this thing. Huddy and Peavy also have the advantage of a much stronger bullpen than Hamels, which can affect the number of W's.
Next time I get some work I don't feel like doing I'll take a break and peer over the A.L. Contenders and talk about the "Blister Sisters".
Monday, May 14, 2007
Jinxing Maddux and Ridiculous Comments in Big D
I figure by the time this gets posted I will have done enough to jinx Greg Maddux's bid for a perfect game/no hitter, one of the check boxes remaining for the lock-job Hall of Famer to accomplish. He's five innings deep right now against the Reds, with only 46 pitches as I started typing this, but I figure with the way technological information gets across the web and TV these days, I'm the last of his worries. You're all but guaranteed a "live look-in!" during the seventh inning, which will inevitably result in an immediate hit against Maddog.
He's actually pitching for the guy that is chasing me in my points-based fantasy league, but I don't really care. As a Braves fan, Maddux has given me enough where I'm willing to take the cave on a win for the other guy if it will guarantee that he gets a no-no. Especially since Maddux once said there's no chance that he'll ever toss one, because he doesn't strike enough guys out. He's been very close though, going into the eighth with Atlanta against Houston before Lance Berkman took him deep way back day and he had one with LA last year before they had to yank him because of a rain delay (OUCH.)
Top of the sixth, Alex Gonzalez tries to make some noise, but Maddux gets a broken bat grounder that sneaks past him--Khalil Green makes the play easily. Annnnnd there it goes. I literally feel like I personally just cost Maddux his no hit bid. Jose Valentin. Are you kidding me?
Back to the basketball then, where Steve Kerr is wondering if "we are literally going to show [Eva Longaria] during every game for the rest of Tony Parker's career?" I mean, uh, yes. Why the hell wouldn't we??
Anyway, I know there was something I wanted to talk about, and that would be the inane comments coming out of the Dallas Cowboys training camp. Terrell Owens has not only said that he learned "Nothing, really" from his only year under Bill Parcells, but he also pointed out that "having a new head coach is good for everybody."
Sure, TO. No doubt. If by "everybody" you mean just you. Or maybe you just mean that ludicrously huge ego of yours that didn't like having someone else, your boss namely, being the center of attention on your team. I mean, look, we all knew it wasn't going to work out with Parcells and TO, right? Didn't we, and by we I mean everyone from Joe Fan up to John Clayton, say this wasn't going to pan out well, way before the season ever started? And am the only one who thinks that TO is happy because his coach has a laid back attitude (read: lacking the testicular fortitude) to actually bust his ass about being a diligent football player? I don't think Wade Phillips is a pushover or anything, but I think he's a helluva lot closer to Mooch than Tuna in terms of how much control he gives his players. Which is great. More freedom in the workplace. No problems here.
Except.
(And there's always an "except".)
When Dallas loses three straight games during the course of the season, or Tony Romo hits some sort of sophomore slump, and TO starts bitching. What then? Is this loose, let it all ride attitude really going to be good for the team then? Of course not.
Not to mention there's a quote from Parcells that came out this past weekend where he says that signing TO wasn't his idea and that he did the best he could with what he had; Owens sarcastically contradicts this, acting like Tuna wanted him there the whole time. Get f'ing real, Terrell.
He does not get real, with this little number: "I could have played better, but I'm not the one to really harp on why I had the season I did," Owens said. "I'm not going to say why I had the drops I had. I knew the reason, but I didn't take the time out to make that an excuse. ... I played through an injury that I didn't really talk about, I didn't care to talk about."
So, I'm confused. Because that makes it seem like you kind of had an injury (the finger) but we all knew about that. So what's the reason that we don't know about that you seem to imply? Parcells' presence? His willingness to go along with Jerry Jones' gamble is the reason you didn't play as hard as you did? Because that's the message I'm getting from the quote. Or maybe I'm misreading it. Like I misread when you popping 30+ painkillers, not implicitly understanding that it was an accident.
What's my point to all of this? Besides the fact that TO sucks? Basically that it's bullshit to see Bill Parcells, one of the greatest coaches of our generation, getting tossed full body under the bus here. On one hand we have a receiver who has played for the Niners, the Eagles and the Cowboys. At every stop, he has either permanently embittered his coach, his quarterback, or both in the cases of Philadelphia and San Francisco. On the other hand, we have a well respected leader and coach, who has appeared in three Super Bowls and won two of them; he has been awarded AP Coach of the Year twice and has produced remarkable turnaround and success at every stop in his career.
Look, I know that TO is great for soundbytes and ratings and whatever, but please, national media, do not feed the animals. Or at least wait until Thanksgiving when Wade Phillips becomes an uptight asshole.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Worst. Halladay. Ever.
Dear Mr. Ricciardi:
I hope this letter finds you well. As can be anyway, given the state of affairs surrounding the shell of a baseball team that you are currently fielding.
You see, sir, don't f*** with me.
Again, that is. You lied to your own freaking fans by acting as if nothing was wrong with B.J. Ryan in the preseason, then following that up by acting like presenting something that isn't false does not qualify as a lie as long as you know the truth. Um, sir, that's not a good line. No one north of the border bought it, and I, for one, was just insulted.
Hence the news that Mr. Halladay will be heading to the disabled list. I suppose you think that appendicitis is just some accidental, fluke type thing that fits in line with what's streaming through your clubhouse right now, right? Well, sir, wrong.
Please stop lying to your fans. And no, I don't care who's protege you are.
Yours Truly,
Karma
P.S. That shit that Vernon Wells pulled was hilarious. Holler at him for me.
How Do You Say "Let Down" In German?
USA Today is reporting that the inevitable, Dirk Nowitzki winning the NBA MVP Award, has come true. Heading into the postseason I was fine with this happening. Now, um, not-so-much. You may or may not have seen the little Boom Dizzle fueled engine that could steam out of Oaktown and plow through Dallas last week, but in case you missed it, the Mavs are donecakes. So how the hell are we supposed to give the MVP to a guy who's team can't even win in the first round as a number one seed? Yes, Golden State was a highly touted eight seed that no one gave enough love to, but then again so were the Nuggets, and Timmy! and crew didn't give them a second thought after that first L.
Isn't this the same argument used against Kobe and LeBron for not winning the award? That their teams didn’t do well enough in the regular season to warrant them being given the Most Valuable Player award? Kobe might be gone, but Bron is looking more and more like he could be taking the Cavs to the Finals this year—despite the pesky presence of a Detroit team that looked close to unstoppable in the second half.
And I’m not jumping on the Bill Simmons’ anti-Dirk bandwagon here. But I’m not knocking it either. I just don’t see why this award has to be given to during the playoffs and based entirely on what is done in the regular season; why can’t the playoffs become an increasingly important aspect of voting for the MVP? If the Cavs somehow make the Finals (yes the East is much, much, much worse) and win, or even make it close against the Jazz, er, Spurs or Suns, why shouldn't he be getting the award? Oh right, because he supposedly coasted for half the season...which would explain what exactly? The huge hot stretch of games the Cavs went on in the second half, or the fact that maybe the King was smart enough to save some energy for the postseason?
There can still be a postseason MOP, a Finals MVP, hell, we can establish a first round MVP for all I care, but lets at least let the MOST VALUABLE PLAYER award be affected by the most important time of the year, when the players that are MOST VALUABLE to their teams really shine.
Ricky Smokes Weed? No Way.
According to Chris Mortensen at ESPN.com Ricky Williams has tested positive for pot (again). In other news, Paris Hilton is a drunk whore and the Detroit Pistons own the Eastern Conference. Shocking, huh?
The best part was one of the article's sources who tried to play doctor:
Remember, he's been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder -- that's a real disease and a good percentage of those folks self-medicate with substances like marijuana, often at the moment they are about to have a high level of social interaction
Of course it is. And weed, like xanax and other self medicating roofies, are the "real" cure. And what's more socially interactive than pissing in a cup with some other dude watching you? Seriously, Ricky, grow up or move to Jamaica; Ronnie Brown is not handling this well.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
The Night Before, Pacman? Really.
The Pacman apparently visited a strip club the night before his meeting with Commissioner Roger Goodell. I mean, I don't even know what to say about this, much less think. What runs through your mind to make you think, "Okay, going to meet the commissioner to try and make sure he doesn't tag me with some monster suspension. Yeah, I'm pretty f***ing tense, so a strip club wouldn't be a horrible idea, right? I mean, sometimes it turns out bad, but I just won't make it rain tonight. Yeah. That's it. No rain and everything will be juuuuuuust fine."
Everyone does stupid shit, no question about it. But this is absurd. This is like staying up all night drinking before going to court for your DUI charge, except instead of a little plastic card we're talking about millions of dollars and your livelihood being at stake. Yes, I understand DUI's aren't anything to joke about and that people die as a result a lot of times, but what in Pacman's mind convinced him that he wouldn't get any publicity for traveling around New York City. Does he read the newspapers??? Granted the football paparazzi isn't as prevalent as the actual celebrity type, but man, there was zero chance this didn't backfire in his face.
Deron Williams Fanclub
The best part is that his player news is live updated. (I think). Hey, look who writes the player news....nigh
Oh, and yes, I have a pretty big mancrush on Deron. Thanks for asking.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Deron Williams = Stud
I spent all basketball season long talking about how much I freaking heart Deron Williams. And he's stepping up even bigger in the postseason now...with a monster shot on Baron Davis to tie this game 2 with 2.3 seconds left. Barring a Warriors field goal to win it (which would mean you're not reading this because I feel like an ass...whew) there is one hell of a game going on in Salt Lake City right now. I should note that the upper level somehow doesn't appear to be completely sold out, or maybe I'm hallucinating that. Not that I'm hallucinating right now, as far as you know. Either way, why not ship some Hawks fans out there, huh?
Do they realize they could have picked between Williams and Chris Paul ???? I don't have the energy to really put enough question marks at the end of the sentence to really justify the stupidity of taking Marvin Williams at that spot. Marvin will be great but, I mean, come one. This isn't fantasy basketball and you're not trying to build to trade. Man, what a mistake.
Anyway, overtime coming in Utah and I'll be honest, I just found myself doing a fist pump when Deron buried that shot. I thought I wanted to adopt the Warriors because, as someone over at ESPN (I believe) said, if the Warriors-Suns somehow landed in the conference finals and either one won the Title, it would change basketball. Now I remember, it was Wilbon on PTI saying that if D'Antoni won a championship with his Martz like basketball coaching (offensive genius, not the arrogant part) then he would cement his legacy in the NBA by changing the way most teams (Yes, Mr. Popovich, we are pointing those fingers at you) play and how the playoffs so often morph into a slow it down, defense fest. Couldn't agree more. I think the Jazz are good enough offensively to get loose with the Suns too, so I'm sticking with Deron. Just pissed I didn't have the stones to think Dallas would lose, other wise I would have stuck the Jazz in the Finals.
You Don't Know What Cool Is....
So I decided I was going to try and spend somewhere between 30 minutes and an hour writing about various things--either blogging or indulging my own creative desire to actually crank out a novel; yes I'm sure you care--so I'll admit that my heart isn't totally in a Roger Clemens post.
But that being said, the guy is kind of a money grubbing d-bag, no? I mean, yes, he's easily one of the five greatest pitchers of all time right; if you want to argue that I'll just concede and say five greatest right handers of all time, and then you'll lose, so don't bother. But still. How many times can you dogpile various teams that you plead allegiance to before it just becomes blatantly obvious that you're only in this for the money. Which I suppose is what makes him and Bonds, despite the fact that they are the greatest pitcher/hitter of our/their/this generation of baseball, so damn hate-able. And easily hate-able at that. Clemens is vastly more popular than Bonds (if only right now because there are so many freaking band wagon Yankees baseball fans) but personally I can't stand the guy.
Matt Snyder, a.k.a. Show got in a little cross-comment-board, light verbal sparrage about who was in the wrong with the overspending of money in baseball. Besides the fact that I disagree with him on this one, I'm really just whoring out his link here but also pointing out that I don't really care one way or the other how much the Yankees attempt to spend/spend on their team payroll in their sad chase for the next World Series title; desperation is a stinky cologne my friends.
What I do care about is that they continue to bring together the worst group of d-bags ever imaginable. I mean, we're talking about a team where the now-mellow Don Mattingly at hitting coach is actually the only guy I like on the whole damn team. I was feeling for A-Rod and all the unnecessary media hype he got pegged with...until I saw him skipping rope around first and whiffing high fives on walk off celebrations. That and he's off the hook until September so I'm over it. But Clemens? Nah. He's just obnoxious at this point.
Yes we get it. You "train" so hard that you don't need the whole off season to prepare. You're body is in such "great shape" that you can just take two or three weeks to fire up the ole "weightroom" and be ready to pitch against the AL East. P.R.A.B.S. For the record, I don't think he will be that good this year--people talk about the offense getting him wins but what about the bullpen giving those right back? I'm thinking good K's, low IP, 7-10 wins and (I'm going topshelf on this one) a 4.20 ERA. He can cough up 4-5 earned runs in six innings and easily get a dubya with that lineup behind him. Assuming the bullpen holds up at all anyway.
All I'm trying to get across is that if this keeps going every year Rocket is going to get more played out than 24 (I really can't believe I just wrote that); he's making way too much money for the amount of time that he's actually putting in with the team and the whole attempt to act like he's doing this because he's either 1) a true Yankee, 2) Gyllenhals on Pettitte or 3) feels like he owes New York, well, I'm just not buying it. He wants 10-15 million dollars tacked onto his bank account. I think he knew damn well he would've gotten a mixed reception in Boston--if he hadn't been perfect those fans would have gone at his throat with him leaving for four out of five days--and Houston isn't going anywhere. Not with the Cubs and Brewers in that division. WOO capitalism and whatnot, but I think it just sucks when we have two "legends" sullying the quality of our national pastime. As I noted in the Josh Hamilton post below, we just don't have much in the way of heroes these days.
Some other baseball (fantasy and otherwise) notes of interest:
Rafael Soriano is absolutely filthy. Mike Gonzalez is great but if Wickman is gone for a long time, than I say Soriano gets the closer gig. I know Gonzo closed for the Bucs last year but I think Bobby would go with the righty if he absolutely had to make a choice.
I'm going to find the damn link where I called Brewers to win the N.L. Central, Braves to win the N.L. East and Cole Hamels to win the NL Cy Young. None of the three are out of the question. I know, laugh about Hamels, but I don't care. Kid is absolutely filthy and he's only going to get better (unlike Rich Hill who just can't keep up what he's doing, despite my man love for him).
James Shields is straight legit folks. He looked very good against the D-Rays and now has only one non-quality start on the season. He only struck out four but if Johan doesn't go nuts on Friday night then he'll be within striking distance of the AL lead (he's currently the leader I believe). Go get him if he's somehow available in your league.
Aside from giving up a home run to Dave Roberts (awkward and embarrassing!) John Maine pitched well again. Stupid Giants let the stupid Mets win on a stupid fielding error. (Hint: Not a NY fan)
Alex Gordon is for real, man. His eye at the plate, despite the unreal number of strikeouts, is there. He will start hitting and I'm expecting a monster second half, so if you can go get him and stash, please do so.
How the f*** can a fantasy team comprising of nine players put up an OPS of .500 for one night. It's the second night in a row that it's happened to a different team of mine. Ugh.
Jonathan Broxton bounces back from a bad outing last night to go 1.1 innings scoreless; would have liked more K's.
Francisco Cordero is the best closer in the majors. There I said it. Have a nice evening.
Cocaine One Helluva Drug
(ED Note: Since The Carolinian's website apparently sucks more than Free Paris Hilton E-Petition, I've just decided to post some of the older articles on here. This one was originally published sometime before now. If you've tried to read any of these and have had trouble, you're not the only one.)
No, seriously, it is. If you don't believe Rick James, just ask Josh Hamilton. The former No. 1 overall pick for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, Hamilton was one of the most can't-miss prospects of the last 15 years until he got a hold of the stuff. Or, to put it more accurately, the stuff got a hold of him.
Hamilton graduated from Athens Drive High School in Raleigh and in the 1999 Major League Baseball Amateur draft, was selected by Tampa as the first overall pick just ahead of future World Series MVP and Yankee-killer Josh Beckett. To say that this draft, headed by Hamilton, was loaded is a massive understatement, as it featured an N.L. rookie of the year (Jason Jennings), an All-Star second baseman and local star (Brian Roberts) and two currently emerging potential All-Stars in Alex Rios and Chris Duncan. Oh yeah, it also featured All-Star and K-machine Ben Sheets; not to mention eventual A.L. Cy Young winner and the most highly paid pitcher in baseball history, Barry Zito (we can debate the merits of that contract elsewhere). The point being though, is that we weren't talking about a down year for the draft - a lot of teams were looking for franchise cornerstones in 1999.
Especially Tampa Bay. The newly formed franchise decided to go with the literal and figurative All American; Hamilton was not only a fantastic baseball player, he was described as Boy Scout-ish both with his appearance, his attitude and his action, the kind of guy you would expect to see helping little old ladies across the street. Drafted primarily as a left-handed hitting outfielder, Hamilton was named USA Baseball's Amateur Player of the Year and Baseball America's High School Player of the Year after hitting .529 with 20 stolen bases, 35 RBI's and 13 homers… in only 25 games. Oh yeah, and he went 7-1 with a 91 strikeouts in 56 innings and a 2.50 ERA. I guess I forgot to mention that he pitched too, right? And had a 97 mph gas can attached to his left shoulder? But you get the point - the guy could do it all and had it all, even refusing, according to Page 2's Jeff Pearlman, to "date extensively or attend the senior prom because, 'I can't have anything bad happen to me now. There's too much on the line.'"
But, and pardon me for doing my best VH1 Storytellers impersonation, the lines were just too much for Hamilton. After inking a deal with the Rays that landed him a record $ 3.96 million signing bonus, the future All-Star arrived in Florida with his parents for Spring Training. An automobile collision before the season started sent his parents back to Raleigh for mom's medical attention and left Hamilton on the sidelines and with plenty of time to kill. He says that shortly thereafter, he took "my first drink - my first drink ever - was at a strip club down there, with the tattoo guys." You always hear about the quick hitting downward spiral, but Hamilton really lived it - going from drinking at strip clubs to using cocaine and getting empty eyed devil skulls tatted all over his body.
I don't have the desire or word count to fully detail everything that happened to Hamilton in the succeeding five years, but if you've ever known someone with a substance abuse problem - friend or family, dealt with these issues yourself, or even read substantial information on the problem, it's pretty obvious that crack and cocaine can do hellacious things to a body, mind and soul. Hamilton was suspended indefinitely from baseball, blew (literally) through all of his money, separated from his wife and estranged his family, went through roughly eight different rehabilitation programs and survived multiple suicide attempts. His body is covered in 26 tattoos running the gamut of topics and spirituality and his mind scarred with the turmoil of five years of literal hell.
But on October 6, 2005, Hamilton started into his first lengthy return to sobriety, and four days after he celebrated a year and a half of being clean, he cranked his first major league home run. Along the way, the Devil Rays left him unprotected for the Rule V draft, the Cubs snatched him away and dealt him to the Reds for cash… which I'm sure has some ironic connotation. Hamilton was reinstated by the MLB within eight months of being clean, having spent substantial time working out in Florida with Winning Inning and attending substance abuse meetings.
That first home run was also his first major league start and over the course of the first three weeks of the season, Hamilton is hovering right around .300 and tied for second in the National League in home runs with five. He also currently leads the Reds in taters and RBI's, and has forced manager Jerry Narron, through his strong all around play, into finding time for him in an otherwise crowded outfield, all while drawing the praise of his teammates for his play and, more importantly, his leadership.
Look, Hamilton's story, since he went on this two-week tear through the majors, has been covered waaaay more than just extensively; he's the ultimate feel-good story right now and with good reason. So I don't even pretend to provide the most personal or extensive account of this tale, and far from the first on the scene attitude - totally impossible with a weekly column in today's world.
But Hamilton has had me wondering for the last few weeks - is he a prime example of the newly forming version of the American success story? And by that I don't mean the ability of an athlete to rise about tough conditions to succeed, because that story is as old as the sports themselves. What I do mean to look at is the idea of any American overcoming addiction, doing a 180 and "coming out on top," or whatever cliché you want to insert there. See, the thing is, addictive behavior isn't ever cured. It's only remised and often not recognized because of the general attitude of anonymity that recovery encompasses.
Well, in everyday life that is; but how many celebrities and other semi-famous people have you seen enter rehab in the last 365 days? I don't have exact count by any means, but I know it's a ton. Just look at our most recent celeb-story-nation-crushes in Brit and ANS-two victims of their own self-delusion and grandeur. I don't necessarily have a distinct point to all of this, meaning that I can't possibly pretend to know that people in recovery will become the next wave of American "heroes." What I do know is that for some time now, we've seen two things happen: First, our heroes (especially in the athletic sense) have dissipated through media overexposure and what appears to be a genuine decline in leadership and focus; secondly the basic fabric that composes the American yarn of success has seemed to become a little old and worn out. Yes, we still revel in the glory of someone rising above their upbringing to succeed, but generally speaking, there isn't the type of aura surrounding these stories as in years past.
Meanwhile, the drug culture and consistent over-abuse of all kinds of chemical substances continues to grow exponentially in our culture. I'm not trying to shout from a soapbox here either, 'cause I'm as guilty as the next guy, but we, as a culture, are kind of running down the pipe blindly in the understanding of the long term effects of so many of these drugs. All I'm saying is that as the culture becomes more and more aware of the constantly growing problem (1 out of every 8 people suffer from a substance abuse issue of some kind) and more and more capable of assisting those who suffer, I think we'll see a new more moral form of hero and/or role model, particularly in the arena of athletics, where fame and the associated temptations come so freely.
But hey, maybe, on the other hand, we'll find out that crack, blow, dope and hooch aren't as debilitating as I think and we'll just keep on keeping on. Here's to Josh Hamilton not being the one to prove that theory right.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
The Sports Pile: Cocaine: One Helluva Drug - Sports
The Sports Pile: Cocaine: One Helluva Drug - Sports
The Josh Hamilton story has been covered ad nauseam but I'm still a fan. Not for nothing but I would have been on this one sooner were The Carolinian not a weekly publication.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
The Sports Pile: A Nappy Headed Hoe-down - Sports
The Sports Pile: A Nappy Headed Hoe-down - Sports
I write a weekly column for The Carolinian, my college newspaper, and figured I might as well link it here using this RSS business.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Wrapping up the NCAA
It's kind of ironic that the entire Final Four experience was more or less a tremendous let down, given that our total lack of upsets throughout the early stages of the tournament supposedly lay the groundwork for an absolutely sublime level of basketball that was to follow this past weekend. But that only really happened to a small degree - the first half of Georgetown/OSU and Greg Oden's performance last night.
Seriously, if you're (or I'm) going to be a sanctimonious asshole and drop "sublime" in a college basketball column (Note: I'm aware I already have) then I think it might be only acceptable to use it when describing the way Greg Oden floored all over the court on offense, defense and general bad-assness. Is it his fault that the rest of the Buckeyes more or less stunk up the gym? Nah. In fact, I don't think they even played that bad, but more likely it was the immense level of talent, drive and desire that consumed the entire Florida team throughout the final month of the college basketball season.
They didn't even really ever come close to losing. Not once. SEC Tourney and NCAA Tourney - they plowed through both of them like Pete North at Porn Film Festival. And even though I hate to follow up on a point that has ever been made by the dreaded duo of Jim Nance and Billy Packer, but it really does say something that all five of the starters for Florida average over 10 points a game but not over 15; they also reached 1,000 career points within two weeks of one another. Normally, if a team's full five starters averages double digits, it's because they play in a shoddy conference or run an offense that requires them all to just jack threes. Florida, obviously, has five guys who could be number one or two options on any team in America, and they just enjoy playing with each other. Hence, a championship run that was nothing short of dominant.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Keep It In Your Pants, Kentucky
This Billy Donovan business has gone way past the point of being absurd by now. The state (and general commonwealth area apparently) of Kentucky, long known for their "passionate" (read: rabid) fan base when it comes to basketball, gave Tubby Smith such shitty treatment--you know he's won a f'ing national title right?--that he picked up and rolled to Minnesota. Minn-e-freaking-sota. It's cold as balls in Minny, their mascot is the Golden Gopher, and they play in the Big Ten, which, pardon me or saying so, is boring and kind of sucks. Why doesn't he just come back to High Point U and coach his alma mater? Seriously--it's not that far of a reach.
But I digress--the point here is not what a downgrade of a job Tubby was willing to take because the fans are such lunatics, it's the fact that the University of Kentucky had the gall and stones to announce, during the week of hoopla before the Final Four, that they were going to offer Billy Donovan close to 3 mill a year to leave Florida and come to Kentucky. If the season were over, I don't have [that much of] a problem with this. Kentucky considers themselves the most important school to the sport of college basketball, and even if their consistent over-seeding doesn't completely prove them wrong, I don't take issue with at least letting them go on believing whatever they want. But, first off, we're talking about a fellow SEC school. Granted Donovan coached with Pitino there, so there's a clear connection, but the only time you should be allowed to go after a coach in the same conference as your school is if 1) he's an alumni of your school and 2) if the University that he currently coaches at is basically trying to run him off (I call this the TOB rule).
Instead, we have Billy D, who an basically do whatever he wants in Gainesville, less than eight hours away from coaching his team towards back-to-back title games and possible National Championships. So maybe Kentucky is just jealous? Do they blatantly want Florida to lose this game (or the next) even though it would mean plenty of shared revenue for the SEC, and at least give some credence to the notion that the SEC isn't a faded power conference? (Note--I'm not saying they are, but it's not the ACC we're talking about here, kids.) Who the fuck knows. All I do know is...
KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS, KENTUCKY. Just wait one more effing week before you let the world know that you're going to try and hire Billy Donovan away from Florida. And not just because it's the right thing to do, or because trying to jinx an arch rival school like this is just Bush League, but because I'm sick and tired of having to listen to eight straight hours of "Should He Stay Or Should He Go...Now" yamming as every single talking head out there prattles on about their personal opinion on whether Billy should take the job or not.
NO ONE has mentioned that what Kentucky did is just sad and we're so busy being caught up in Donovan's response that we can't see there's literally zero way for him to win in this situation. He's doing the closest thing he can to not saying anything that commits one way without shutting a door, and that's all he can do. If all his guys leave for the NBA, screw it, go coach Kentucky if that's what you really want to do--it'd be a huge mistake considering that he owns the program in Florida and, as Dickie V pointed out, all of his close family has just recently moved to Gainesville. Billy is just going to pull a standy, get-me-a-huge-raise move by briefly considering the swap to Hicksville before cashing in on a big payday/lifetime contract in Gator Country.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Part Duex - Or, Waiting for the Basketball to Start
What does it say about women's college basketball that I'm currently watching Caddyshack II? Although, I suppose a better question would actually be, what does it say about me that I'm watching Caddyshack II? Probably not good things. For either. Not gonna lie though, a Women's Regional Final between Arizona State and Bowling Green is not gonna pique my excitement a whole lot. What will the ole' Elite Eight juices rolling though, is a UConn (the number one seed and the closest thing women's college basketball has to an "Evil Empire") - NC State (Kay Yow is recovering from her third bout with cancer and brought this team out of a tailspin to make a legitimate run at something special in this tournament) matchup. And before you judge me, just know that I need my underdog fix okay? 'Cause the men's tournament hasn't exactly been lower seed friendly, with the "worst" seeded team in the Elite Eight the "Mighty" Ducks of Oregon.
The Ducks do represent the serious lack of appreciation that myself and the rest of the country gave to the PAC-10 this year; granted it's not the toughest conference top to bottom by any means, but they should have landed three teams in the Elite Eight, had Tim Floyd and the Trojans not managed to choke away an 18 point lead. Choke is a tough word though, the Tarheels are pretty freaking gross, and with Gibson on the bench with four fouls, USC had no shot at either rebounding or stopping the lockjob third pick in this year's draft that is Brandan Wright. Siggggggh. (He's just blatantly staying one more year, that's why the sigh.)
On tap today:
#1 Ohio State v. #2 Memphis. Has there ever been less said about a number two seed that has looked great on it's way to an Regional Final run than Calipari's Tigers? I think not. These guys are the closest thing to a darkhorse (Oregon doesn't have a prayer tomorrow) in this tournament, just solely based on lack of hype but I don't know that they can deal with the Buckeyes. Greg Oden is really starting to break out and two (or three) more big games from him and you can pencil him in for that top pick in the draft. Whenever the Celtics don't get it. Conley, Jr. is underrated given the amount of frosh talent in the NCAA's this year and the Buckeyes sport so many longballers that I don't see them losing again. Until they meet the Hoyas.
#1 Kansas v. #2 UCLA I hate UCLA. They're just not exciting and I wish Indiana had dumped them off. I also had equally unexciting Pittsburgh beating them so, um, yeah, my bracket is Donecakes. This game should be relatively low scoring--both teams sport very stout defenses, but I'll take Kansas by double digits based on their ability to score at will. Great test of Howland's defense coming tonight.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
I've Got A Fever....
No seriously. I wish I had a Will Ferrell joke to throw in here. It would make my life much easier. Instead, following one good day of basketball in a four day span, I'm sick as dog d***. Or so fucking sick. Whatever you want to call it.
Maybe the cause of my infirmity is the easy-to-hoe road that the Tarheels have somehow landed to the Elite Eight. People around here (and by that I mean North Carolinians that hate the Heels) are terrified that they're marching towards a National Championship, but I don't think they're winning it all. But that's mainly because I've got Georgetown winning it all in my brackets. Which might be the secondary cause of my malaise.
Are we on an every other year type of favorites domination thing here? Last year's Tourney was maligned for being boring but what the hell is better than a year when George Mason marches to the Final Four? Watching Texas get run on by SoCal? Um, nosir. I know this idea has been beat to death by most of the media out there, but there really was only one good day of basketball all weekend. Thursday was wishful anticipatory thinking, Friday just wasn't that exciting and Sunday was chock-full of blowouts. Saturday on the other hand, was freaking sublime. I couldn't flip my remote fast enough and there were countless overtimes.
I'm going to try and cover these next set of games more in depth if I can get well and clear everything off my plate before Thursday.
Don't forget to check out the Cardiac Pack Part Duex on ESPN tonight in the NIT Quarterfinals. Sid Lowe may or may not be sporting a red blazer but this is one of the most well coached teams in the nation. GO Pack!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
I'm An Ass
Well then. Talk about a nightmare evening. Duke loses (oh wait, that's fucking hysterical) and screws up my bracket (okay, maybe not). Carolina looks like they're somehow going to choke apart to Eastern Kentucky and then Psycho T walks, er draws fouls, en route to blowing the 16 seed out. Somehow too, in my main bracket I forgot to swap out Marquette for Michigan State, Texas Tech for BC and Zaga for Indiana, mainly because I decided to enter waaaaay too man brackets. And I lost the coin flip on BYU/Xavier. Ugh.
Oh right, and VCU made me look like a moron. So, Commonwealth, I would like to apologize to you, but I still maintain that Winthrop doesn't win (even though I had them last year against Tennessee, they're just too damn sexy of a sleeper this year).
My Final Four, if you're interested: Georgetown (champs), Kansas (runner-up), Texas A&M (verrrry tough to not take them all the way...) and Florida (their path is a freaking cake walk). I have the Heels losing to Texas, Pitt beating UCLA, Notre Dame in the Sweet 16, among others. And Davidson was supposed to win too dammit. Another big day tomorrow:
Virginia over Albany. Crazy no? This is a Virginia team that can make some serious noise in the tournament, folks.
UNLV over GA Tech: I like the Jackets but I think everyone in America is sleeping on the Rebels.
Notre Dame over Winthrop: This game could make or break a bracket or two, especially with Winthrop, as I said, being so damn sexy and probably landing in a Sweet 16 or two(hundred). Big win for the Irish.
Long Beach State over Tennessee: Ironically, Bruce Pearl sucks as a tournament coach with Big Orange.
We Don't Need No Stinking Upsets
I'm sneaking this one in under the gun, but I wanted to get it out there nonetheless. Um, Duke is going to "pants" Virginia Commonwealth. Like flat out pummel. There's no chance that either Winthrop or VCU win tonight in my opinion, because they're almost too sexy at this point. EVERYONE is picking them and that just terrifies me.
Of course, I also took Davidson over the Terps and Oral Roberts to upset a stupidly overrated Washington State team--look where that got me.
Primetime piling this evening btw.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Early March Madness
If I told you that I meant to actually predict double overtime to jack up Dirk's stats before the game would you believe me? Didn't think so. Doesn't matter though, because you didn't need me to tell you that the Mavs-Suns firestorm was going to be a great game. Was it the best game of the NBA season so far? Maybe so--brought together great performances from the big stars: Amare went for 40 plus, Dirk had a gross dub-dub(30 and 16), Nash put up a casual 16 assists. Then there's the really weird stat-shit-stuff, as Erick Dampier had 11 boards, which were they not ALL offensive rebounds, wouldn't be that weird. Jerry Stackhouse played 42 minutes and scored 33 points and looked a hell of a lot younger than he really is.
Jason Terry showed up huge too, with 27 points, five boards, five dimes and four steals, but his biggest shot came at the end of the first overtime when he buried a three from the right that was a mix of runner and fadeway all at the same time. It would best be described as "big", to be perfectly blunt.
The weirdest thing about this game though, was that Dirk didn't come up big in the clutch. At all. He missed a crucial free throw at the end of regulation. Then he missed an (albeit tough) fadeaway jumper against Shawn Marion (albeit grabbing his jersey and pretty much fouling him) to send it to triple overtime. Then he stormed off the court without so much as stopping to talk to his little Canadian buddy.
Now look, I don't mean to read too much into this at all, because Dirk is the clear cut MVP of 2006-07 right now, at least in my mind, but doesn't something need to be said about Jason Terry being the clutch guy for this team? Is that okay? Does Dirk have the leadership to either a) step up and hit a walk off winner in a huge game or b) put his team's collective foot on someone else's throat when it matters? Was D-Wade right? Maybe he needs that nasty streak to get a little darker before the playoffs roll around, which would actually make this excruciatingly painful L even more worthwhile. Interesting to see how the Mavs respond to this one.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
The Oscars Are Played
For whatever reason I decided to engage in a little light torture tonight. First by watching the Oscars themselves and then by choosing not to take advantage of my DVR fast forward "power" during Celine Dion's solo song. Holy shit. I feel like my toenails have been yanked out, despite the coolness of a lifetime achievement award. Aren't we reaching the point where these things are played yet? Are there really that many great new filmmakers to even keep this crap going.
Okay, maybe I'm being a little harsh on the film industry and the Academy's occasion to get dressed up and do important stuff. I mean Ellen is played, Apple Paltrow is played, Coldplay is well, played. Most of these bastards are played.
Can't we just give Marky Mark and award and let him tell Melissa Ethridge and Al Gore to "go fahk yourself."? Wouldn't that just be easier than this insufferable business.
And Guggenheim, I believe it was, who directed An Inconvenient Truth--congratulations sir, you easily win the award for biggest douchebag of the evening. And even Al finds it awkward that you're giving him a handjob right now.
I'm sorry, I'm usually not this negative even on a Sunday night before a long week coming up but meh.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Trading Deadline "Blockbusters"
With all the chatter we heard all week regarding Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, Rashard Lewis, Ray Allen - even possibly Kevin Garnett and Pau Gasol - switching locations via pre deadline dealmaking, this was a eerily quiet scurry to the finish. All in all we got three moves today, which if you're concerned about how they might affect your fantasy basketball team, go here:
1. Dallas sends Anthony Johnson to Atlanta for a 2nd round pick;
This deal makes sense for the Hawks who have literally been floundering ever since passing up on Chris Paul, Ray Felton AND Deron Williams--all three of whom will be perennial All Stars within the next few years--to take "Marvelous" Marvin Williams. Williams is going to be a special player (we think, right?) but the Hawks would be in the playoffs and contenders for the East with either of those three guards. But as it is, they're not; because the East is "not as good", they still have a shot at making a run at the postseason. At least Billy Knight is aware that Speedy Claxton and Tyronn Lue aren't going to get them there, and AJ averaged over 13 points and six dimes in March and April the last two years so, who knows, right? Plus, Dallas is 100% guaranteed to make a better selection than anyone out of the ATL come June.
2. Portland sends Juan Dixon to Toronto for Fred Jones
Apples for apples, like I said on TMR. These guys are pretty similar, with Jones having better hops and Dixon having a better jumper. Dixon is the better overall player, imo, and will be more valuable to his new team. Jones didn't work out for the Raptors and Dixon was disgruntled with his PT in the NW. Expect him to be a bit of a difference maker for the Raptors as they push for their division title. Jones will be a second string guy who might log some time if the T-Blazers want to give Brandon Roy more run at the 1.
3. 76ers send Alan Henderson to Utah for rights to second round pick
Meh. What a last minute blockbuster this was. Nothing to see here really except it's interesting that the Jazz feel it necessary to grab depth at forward when Carlos Boozer is supposedly now healthy. I personally have been saying for some time now that Booz wasn't going to come back totally healthy even after 4-6 weeks off.
